The Hotness

On Monday I attended my first hot yoga class in 9 years. A couple days later and I am still trying to determine if the class was a mistake or not.

Emotional, tiring, HAWT! I spent half the class shaking in child's pose, excreting negative energy. And while I know that's likely what I needed in that moment (and also happens to be a very normal reaction to a yoga class in an emotional state of mind) I sorta feel like a university student recovering from the most ridiculous kegger, still off, wary of that beer, thinking maybe it's best to take a break, knowing you still want a another beer though, and soon.

It's Thursday and I am still trying to dissect what happened; trying to wrap my head around not being able to settle, feeling physically broken and overwhelmed.

It may sound silly, but I feel like I am recovering from an invisible wound with no instructions on what to do next. And I can't even begin to describe how frustrating this has been...

I know there's something physically; medically off with my body. Today, my body is screaming, louder than it ever has. I slept poorly, my hacking cough still lives here, EVERY joint aches, my feet are so sore I feel like I am waddling (wow, that's a sad picture). I have attempted to advocate for myself. I have challenged my doctor. I have de-rostered from my doctor. And am now left searching for some clarity on how to best move forward, trying to get medical attention somehow. Fingers crossed the doctor I am chasing calls me soon.

As for the yoga class, I've decided it was a good class. It's forced me to reflect seriously on the very real help I need.