We Are Not Our Circumstances

Becky Blanton's tear jerking story about hope

A Few of the Favs

The weather in San Francisco wasn't what I had hoped for. It was pretty much miserable. Typhoon Parma had swept some nasty weather across the Pacific. San Francisco was subject to torrential rain, a few miserable days and lots of fog and mist...which some might argue are essential San Francisco experiences. While it made sightseeing on foot challenging, I soldiered on and managed to catch a few fantastic photographs. The sun did peek out every once in a while; it was exciting I tell ya, it was everything I had expected of late summer in San Francisco.

A Catalogue of Sorts

Richard had a conference in San Francisco a short while ago, I joined him. It was always the plan, I would take a week off work, go with and enjoy a rather impromptu vacation. The trip was punctuated by the job loss, while it was nice to relax upon my return from San Francisco, knowing I wouldn't have to go back to work hurt my heart a little...well a lot really....

I have been taking some time to catalogue why I loved my job so much...what made going to work so easy...

Here's the shortlist I have come up with.

• I worked for a cause; knowing I was working for an organization that improved the lives of families in need made my heart soar.
• Each and every day I was challenged to think critically about a project and how it would benefit the community. Each day I came to understand the mission of our organization on a deeper and more meaningful level. I had to communicate, communicate, communicate what that meant to us as an organization and make sure that message was understood by others.
• I got to be an advocate and pseudo spokesperson. I LOVED speaking about the project, updating others, communicating project news,
• I connected with volunteers daily, I got to know, befriend and learn from those who cared as deeply as I about the mission. I built great relationships with board members, campaign volunteers and program volunteers.
• I learned that I have a passion for non-profit governance. I have always had an interest in all things political, but prior to this job I was only marginally aware of my love of governance...how and why organizations are run a particular way, how boards interact with senior management and what this means for strategic planning. This has lead me to some hefty reading and learning I am excited to do.
• While not a member of the senior management team, I worked incredibly closely with senior management. The Project Manager, CEO, CFO, Regional General Manager all in part became mentors to me. I learned so much from each and everyone of them, I appreciated the opportunity to work for and with people who offered me so much of themselves. They gave me opportunities to work on projects not related to the project office I worked for and because those opportunities I was able to learn, grow, even mentor others.

________________________

Some days I wallow a little, I sit on the couch watching Martha and worry I wasn't passionate enough, capable enough, talented enough to be kept around. I then remind myself that I tend to wallow in the irrational.

I am a talented employee, with vision and drive and a passion to lead, I knew the finances.... I have to remind myself that the senior management who became mentors to me are willing to help me however they can to find that fabulous next step. I know they recognized my talents and that means a lot.

The Thud

For the last two years I have been working in the non-profit industry on a very important (or at least in my mind) project. I have loved every second of the work I've done and the team I have had the pleasure of working with.

As of this past Friday I am out of work. I'm laid off. We need a major "partner" to move forward and the logical "partner" isn't moving quickly. So without that guarantee our small project office has had to downsize. We've gone from 3 to 1. My boss, my wonderful, thought provoking, supportive boss (the best boss and mentor I have ever had) is the only one left. He's trying to get the "partner" on board.

I have been aware of the project's reality since I started working there but it doesn't make the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach go away. The first few days of the layoff seemed like a vacation; it doesn't feel like a vacation anymore. I am loving watching Martha (mmm sweet potato gnochhi) but I would love more to know that the "partner" has come on board. I know how important this project is to the community; I have worked so hard to see this get done and it hurts my heart that the project is stalled. I have always hated being stuck in a sense of limbo and that's the best way to describe where the project is - project limbo.

I wish I knew the best way to move forward myself...what to do next...but right now I am sad; the thud didn't feel so great (I know thanks captain obvious, right?). Any thoughts? Insight? Advice? Would be much appreciated...